The Way Things Go
by unbearablybleak
Summary: Post-War AU, In a universe where they hadn't met before, Mai and Zuko are arranged to be married after the end of the war.
1. Chapter 1

Zuko paced the corridor, waiting for the news that his… _fiancée_ has arrived. He didn't quite remember the days leading up to this, just a blur of constant insistence he needed an heir to secure the lineage of Fire Lord, and for that, he needed a wife. And somehow, he had eventually agreed to marry the woman his advisors saw best fit.

He knew little of her, just that she came from a village a distance from the capital and her name was Mai. Their first meeting was only moments away, and their wedding tomorrow. With their busy schedules, only one meeting had been planned before they were to say their vows.

He thought about backing out—it wasn't too late, no ceremony had been held yet. Her boat hadn't even arrived. It would be easy to take it all back and pretend—

"Lord Zuko?" a voice interrupted his thoughts, "Lady Mai has arrived."

He nodded, dismissing the servant and taking a deep breath to calm himself, as if it was _possible_ to be calm in a situation such as this. Still, first impressions were important, and he didn't want his future wife thinking he was a complete buffoon.

The guards followed him up until the room where they waited outside, allowing him some privacy. Being there first, Zuko took another moment to attempt at composing himself. But suddenly, his robes were too itchy and his hair felt out of place. The room was too warm, so much so that sweat began to form on his brow. Dammit, he was nervous.

The wait was agonizing. Minutes felt like forever while he waited to see what his future held. Finally, _finally_ , there was a sound at the door before a young woman slipped inside.

Zuko didn't know what he has expected her to look like, perhaps like the women who flirted too obviously with their breasts nearly slipping out of their dresses and their lips puckered. She—this Mai, was the opposite of that. Her hair was as black as he had ever seen, but her skin was pale in stark contrast. Her expression seemed bored while she bowed her head in respect before sitting across from him. Mostly, he was struck by her words.

"Do you always sit with your mouth open, or were you trying to catch flies today?"

He blinked in surprised before rushing to close his mouth and recompose himself. Perhaps he should've taken some offense to her words, but instead he lowered his head in greeting.

"I'm Zuko, it's nice to meet you."

She was silent for a moment before answering back with her own name, but nothing more than that. She didn't want to be here, didn't want to be marrying him, and didn't want him thinking she would be friendly just because she had to treat him with respect due to his position.

The tension was thick in the air, making conversation stiff. Neither were sad to see Zuko called away for a meeting, ending their own time together.

Mai followed the servant along to her quarters for the night, as tomorrow she would be moved into her new husband's room. Even though it was merely a guest room, both in size and decoration, it far surpassed her room at home. The thought sent an odd ache through her, knowing she'd never sleep in that bed again. Living with her parents hadn't been fun, but it was familiar, and none of this was at all. Even the smells were off. It all sent a sense of unease throughout her.

Tomorrow she would be married to a stranger, and while he seemed nice, it wasn't her choice. This had been laid out before her by her parents as it would bring them more status. She was a simple pawn for her father's career.

This might be her last night alone, she knew. And so she allowed herself to weep for the freedom lost. There was deep pain in knowing she wouldn't be allowed to have her first date. That her first kiss would be to someone she barely knew, and would be for show. Ty Lee had been the romantic friend, but it didn't mean Mai didn't yearn for the young love she read about in so many stories. Even her parents had chosen to marry each other, despite the lack of affection they seemed to carry. She simply wanted a choice. A way to life her life the way she wished, but such a simple thing had been ripped away from her. Mai felt pathetic, crying over it all, but couldn't stop herself. Her mind spun out thousands of things she was missing out on, thousands of ways being married to the Fire Lord would be horrible. She felt as if she would never be Mai again—just the Fire Lord's wife instead.

* * *

Mai didn't think she has slept at all during the night, but eventually morning had come and servants began swarming around her, slipping her into intricate clothing and adorning her hair with golden accessories. They painted her face so thickly with makeup that she no longer recognized the girl in the mirror before her, but the buzz was good. A constant distraction to keep her mind off the ceremony that was getting closer with each moment.

Her mother slipped in several times, fussing over loose hairs and reminding Mai to be on her best behavior. Mai smiled slightly as she let her mind wander with the idea of creating a scene and refusing to marry Zuko in front of everyone. Her parent's faces would be hilarious. But, she knew, such a thing wasn't an option if she didn't wish to be disowned. Obeying was the only option.

Finally, she was rushed along to stand in front of a heavy door where Zuko waited, donned in special robes as well. He smiled, trying to reassure her, but Mai didn't return the gesture. Instead, she looked straight forward. Behind the doors, she knew, waited a crowd full of people waiting to see their wedding.

The ceremony passed in a blur. She felt out of touch as she repeated the vows, promising herself to the boy in front of her. Her body felt numb as they leaned in for a kiss and as the crowd cheered. The only thing she could truly notice was how Zuko's disconnected expression matched her own.

Soon, they were seated at a table facing the rest of the reception. She smiled and thanked the people as they passed, giving their congratulations.

When everyone had been seated, Zuko turned to her with a shy grin, "Well, it's finally time to eat. It's the one thing I've been looking forward to all day."

Mai paused for a moment, analyzing his words and try to make sense of him. He seemed just as reluctant as she did for this ordeal, but certainly he must've asked for it, she figured. He was Fire Lord after all—people had to listen to him. But the pieces wouldn't come together, so she decided to let it go for a moment and enjoy the dinner being brought out to them, "—I've been looking forward to the desserts," she answered back, causing his grin to grow into one of satisfaction that he pulled a response from her.

* * *

Mai sneered at the pathetic excuse for clothing that was laid out for her in the bathroom that night. Lace, tight, see-through, and looking terribly itchy. Without a second thought, she cast the lingerie aside and slipped back out of the bathroom.

"Has my clothing been brought in yet?" she asked, her arms crossing. She could picture her mother chastising her perfectly, but it wasn't a concern—her mother wasn't here, and she knew she would not be _consummating_ a marriage tonight.

Zuko looked up from where he messed with the covers, not understand the annoyance in her tone. But, she didn't seem to like him very much, so it wasn't very surprising. "I don't think so, but they said they left you something to sleep in?" he replied, a slight uncertainty in his voice.

"They left me nothing I'd be caught dead in," Mai snapped back, venom on her tongue. The thought of a stranger touching her ignited a rage deep within her chest. Politeness or respect for his authority meant nothing anymore.

He simply frowned back, still not catching on to the fact Mai thought he would expect sex tonight. He knew it was expected of a married couple, but the idea left him uneasy, even more so with how reluctant his wife seemed to be near him. "I'll have the servants bring you a robe, then? Would that be alright?" Relief swept through him when Mai nodded with a softer expression, although her guard stayed up.

After finally changing into something she felt more appropriate, Mai made her way to the bed. It was large—truly too large for two people, but she wouldn't complain tonight as it gave her plenty of space to keep away from Zuko.

She began to push the covers aside, sending him a sharp glare. "Don't even think about touching me tonight."

Zuko flushed red, finally understanding the bitterness seeping from her words. "Oh, oh, I wasn't—I mean, you're very pretty, but I didn't want to-!"

The furrow in her brow began to smooth, one corner of her mouth turning up in amusement. He looked more panicked and flustered than she felt. "Well, alright. Then goodnight, Lord Zuko," she sighs out before curling up as close to the edge as possible.

Zuko did the same, although sleep didn't come. His mind reeled over the day's events and what might be to follow next. Disdain seeped from the girl sleeping at his side. While he knew they wouldn't be in love by any means, he still felt disappointed that she didn't even want to get along. Even though she was far from kind, he didn't find himself disliking her. Rather, he wanted to win her acceptance in a sense. To prove he wasn't as awful as Mai appeared to think he was.

Eventually, exhaustion won over and Zuko found himself waking with the sunrise. For a moment, he forgot someone lay next to him, until he saw her form under the covers. The sight almost made him laugh aloud—the cold woman from the day prior was sprawled out across the bed, her hair spread out in every direction and her mouth agape. She looked much nicer when she was asleep.

For once, he wasn't expected at any meetings, and Mai was still asleep, so he enjoyed the time on his own to relax until she stirred from their bed. It must've been nearing lunch time, he figured, but Mai still seemed exhausted as she rubbed her eyes and blinked against the sun pouring in from the windows.

Her demeanor was different already as she gave a simple wave and stepped closer to his side, peering at the book in his hands. "You like to read?"

Zuko nodded, closing it enough to show her the title. "I don't usually have much time to read anything but political documents, though."

In her mind, being Fire Lord seemed like a life of luxury, doing nothing but ordering other's around. It was odd to remember he had plenty of work on his plate, especially as Zuko was new into power. Politics had never interested her, but she was a bit curious to learn more about his work. The ending of the war had left her confused, with her parent's complaints of Ozai leaving and their hatred of the new ruler that had quickly changed when they realized she had a chance of becoming his wife. She had already finished school before the change of power, leaving the lessons of what was happening to her parents, but she knew better than to trust what they cited as what had happened. They wanted her to follow their own beliefs rather than make her own.

Zuko noticed her quietness and pensive look, causing him to raise a brow. "What is it?" he asked, looking to meet her eyes.

"I was just curious about what you actually do," she answered, taking a seat next to him. "My family used to say that Fire Lord Ozai was a powerful leader, and at first I always heard you…well, that you were doing nothing for the Fire Nation. But that can't be true, lots of things have changed since last year. So what do you do?"

Her words caught him with surprise. Zuko searched for an answer, excited to have an open line of communication with Mai where she actually seemed interested. He knew if it took too long to answer, he would likely lose the chance. "Well—I've been working with the Avatar on the Harmony Restoration Movement. It's difficult to end a war, harder than I thought it would be. You'd think when it's over, it's over, right? But there's so many colonies to work with and treaties to sign—I have to listen to what everyone wants. I'm just trying to find the best ways to make things peaceful, I guess that's my job."

He held his breath after finishing, nervous to see her reaction. But she gave none, just a nod. No hint of anything else given away in her body language. At least it was better than her making fun of him, he supposed. "It's almost lunch—I could have them bring it here, or we can go to the dining hall, whichever you prefer."

Mai pursed her lips, trying to think which would offer the least discomfort. Dining alone with Zuko would be awkward either way, but maybe if they stayed in their own room, there would be less pressure. "Let's eat here, I guess," she shrugged.

Soon enough, trays of food had been brought in from the kitchen. If there was something to be happy about, it had to be the food. Everything she could ever want and more than she could ever eat. Thoughts of her mother's chastising left her as Mai stuffed her face with what the palace had to offer.

"I think that means you like it," Zuko noted after a while, a bit in awe at her capacity to eat so much despite her size. Unfortunately, Mai didn't appreciate his comment and sent back a sharp glare.

After the plates had been cleared, Mai sat at the vanity and started fixing her hair up for the day, casting back glances at Zuko. "So what am I even meant to do here?"

"You can do what you wish," he shrugged back. "You're free to do what you want. There's gardens, the library, lots of things. Today they intended us to spend together, but you don't have to stay—or maybe we could take a walk around the city since you aren't from here. Or you could go by yourself."

It almost annoyed her that his answer was so different from what she had expected, despite it being more freeing than she ever thought it could be. Somehow, her mind had conjured images of marrying Zuko to be days spent waiting in boredom for him to return and ask for activities related to making children, the only thing she figured he'd see her as good for.

And since his reply had been better that she thought, Mai decided to give him a chance and take him up on his offer to see Caldera together.

The servants finally brought her clothes in, although they were much nicer and more feminine than what she was used to, it felt nice to be in more normal clothing. Much more like herself than the day before.

When ready to go, guards flanked them from all sides, strange to Mai.

"Sorry about that, it's just for safety. It's pretty easy to get used to it, though."

After passing through the palace gates, the city at night came into view. Her eyes widened at the beauty. Her own town had been much smaller, much less lively, but here lanterns lit the streets that seemed alive with shops. The smells from street vendors filled her nose, carrying her in their direction. Zuko grinned, happy to buy her the fire flakes he caught her eyeing and happy to earn a thank you from her. He was still struck in surprised as she held them out to share while continuing to explore. The crowds parted easily when they noticed the Fire Lord coming down the streets, reminding Mai once again how different things were. How they would never be the same.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for reviewing, it makes me want to continue, really! So I'm off of school now, most of this was written before the break started. Hopefully the break will leave me with plenty of muse and I can update more...I've started planning the next chapters a bit, so I'd like to think it would. Merry Christmas, have some awkward friendship forming- now the basis of their relationship for the next few chapters is complete. Phew!**

* * *

For the first time, Zuko enjoyed getting back to his office. His routine had been shaken enough where the normalcy was comforting, a sense of things being how they should be. It wasn't that he didn't like Mai, really—perhaps it was that she didn't like him or just the absurdity of the situation in general. He wanted to forget for a moment and go back to how things had been before. Attempting to adjust was exhausting.

His mind was rather focused as he shut everything else out and read through the papers before him until the words began to blur and his head began to ache. Part of it, Zuko supposed, was likely due to the low grumble in his stomach. Enough hours had passed for a break, then, so he started to head to the dining hall rather than having lunch in his office when he stopped at the intersection of two hallways. One turn would lead him to his bedroom, where he guessed Mai might still be, especially with her sleep schedule he had started to pick up on. The other would leave him to a peaceful lunch alone.

He found himself, _despite_ himself, looking for Mai to invite her to join him. Eventually his kindness had to get him somewhere, she couldn't hate him forever, right? At least, Zuko hoped.

Sure enough, upon opening the door he found Mai just washing her face for the day. It didn't make much sense how someone could sleep so late into the morning, not when his body had him waking every morning just as the sun rose. Then again, she wasn't a bender and had no obligations work like he did.

Mai looked over, a heavy sigh leaving her lips. It was a sound Zuko was quickly becoming accustomed to. She sighed more than she spoke, he noticed.

Clearing his throat, Zuko readied himself to speak, smoothing his robes down as if looking better would make it easier to talk to the girl in front of him. "I…I was wondering if you'd like to join me for lunch today, so that you wouldn't have to eat alone."

Her eyebrow rose, ever confusing him. Mai was anything but easy to read. The silence stretched on for what felt like forever as Mai weighed her options.

"Alright, just give me a moment to change," she shrugged, picking out her robes for the day and slipping behind the privacy screen. Although he couldn't see her, Zuko still turned away out of respect until she was finished, and then he allowed himself to take a look at her.

He much liked the way she was dressed now, in a loose, deep red dress. It was practical, but mostly he was struck by the fact she kept her hair down, the dark locks falling down her back.

He hadn't even realized he had been blushing until Mai frowned, poking his cheek, "You're all red, you look like you've just run around the palace or something."

He let out a noise of pure exasperation, turning even redder, to the point where Mai rolled her eyes and started out the hallway, leaving him to trail behind.

At least soon enough, it was her chance to be embarrassed as she started down the wrong hallway, still lost in the maze of the palace. Zuko called it to her attention, slightly amused at the red on her own cheeks before correcting her mistake.

Finally, they had made it to the smaller dining hall, more suitable for a meal for two, though the room was still rather large and the table could sit plenty more.

"Um, well, usually I just eat whatever the chef makes, but if you ever have any requests you should…let him know, alright? And well, you haven't really told me what kind of tea you like best, so you could do that as well-" Zuko started, his shoulders hunched in over the table after taking his seat.

"Do you always ramble like an idiot?" she cut him off. Initially, the words stung until he looked up and caught the glint of a smile on her face. Perhaps, he thought, she was joking. Harshly, but he had gotten used to such from Toph. He could handle it from Mai. "—I like jasmine best, by the way, but anything's fine."

With his spirit lifted, Zuko nodded, requesting jasmine tea from the servants and smiling as he waited for their food to be brought in. "Oh, I suppose I should tell you as well that my friends are going to be visiting soon. They weren't at the wedding, but you should meet them." His grin continued as the food arrived, more so on the thought of getting to see his friends again than anything else.

Mai chewed her food in thought, wondering what his friends would be like. She knew the Avatar was one of them, but that was the extent of her knowledge. She couldn't deny a slight nervous feeling, though she wouldn't make Zuko aware of it. Mai had always struggled in making friends, her only true one far away in her home village.

Her heart grew heavy with loneliness, despite the company beside her.

* * *

It took three days for his friends to arrive. Mai stood back, silently, with her hair pinned up in its regular fashion while Zuko greeted each with a warm hug. None of them paid her much mind until Zuko turned back to introduce her. Aang, that was the Avatar. A brother and sister, Katara and Sokka. The boy's girlfriend, Suki and a blind girl called Toph. It was a bit overwhelming to see so many new faces at once, but it wasn't long before she was alone in the corridor again as they trailed off to catch up. Mai couldn't decide if she felt disappointed or relieved.

Her mind fretted that they were gossiping about her, though she told herself she didn't care. She didn't like Zuko, so she wouldn't like his friends. None of it mattered.

So she couldn't fathom why her eyes stung with the threat of tears at the sound of laughter down the hall, something she wasn't a part of. She hadn't asked for any of this, not for this marriage, not to be ripped away from her friend, and not to be reminded of it again. Most of her time was spent in an empty bedroom, unsure of who to talk to or how to even start meeting someone to befriend. People weren't meant to live in such solitude.

A few times, she tried to start a letter to Ty Lee, but nothing felt right to say. She preferred to suffer her misery alone.

Eventually, Zuko came back to invite her to dinner, though they moved to a different dining room so the table wouldn't feel quite as crowded with their added guests. And again, Mai could only notice how much of an outsider she was.

Mai retired for bed early, thankful to get away from the conversation she didn't quite fit into.

Zuko returned with the tension almost always on his shoulders eased, a visible change Mai noticed instantly. A bit of jealousy surged through her.

"I thought you might already be asleep," he noted, letting his hair down from the top knot to start preparing for bed. "Were you not feeling well when you left?"

Mai shrugged, pulling a brush through her hair. "I suppose that's it."

"Oh, well I'm sorry. Do you need anything?"

"I'll be fine."

"You should have your friends over sometime, I'd like to meet them," he pressed on, vying for her attention while she seemed somewhat willing to offer it.

"I've only gone one friend, she's busy in the circus though, perhaps later," Mai sighed, crossing her arms over her chest to offer some protection.

"That's too bad. Maybe we could be friends?"

That stopped her dead in her tracks, her eyes slightly widened, giving off her sense of surprise instead of the cool façade she preferred to keep up. It _shouldn't_ have surprised her with the kindness he always tried to offer, but her mind had been expecting such different things that she was still finding it difficult to adjust to the actuality of who she married. A man much less controlling, and much nicer, than she ever expected.

She locked on to his expectant gaze, searching the golden eyes for something, trying to understand what he had to gain from this, from her. But she found nothing telling, only a nervous boy waiting for a reply.

"I…well, I suppose that would be better than the current situation."

She was met with a large smile, one like that of a child receiving a present on a holiday to find it contained the toy they had been wishing for. He wasn't really the image of nobility most people imagined.

"Right! Good, great, I mean—yeah, that's cool," he stumbled, finally finishing with a dejected sigh at his foolishness. "Let me restart, I can tell you a joke—it's um…well, I only remember the punchline. It goes: leaf me alone, I'm bushed!" His grin turned sheepish, expectant, hoping she would take well to his attempts at humor.

And the most unexpected thing happened, really: she smiled, rolling her eyes, but still, smiling. Success! He felt near victorious, like a battle had been won. And really, she looked beautiful when she smiled. He thought he'd like to see it again. "Good, you liked it. So, tell me a little more about you, would you? What's—hm, you'd be bored by small talk…why don't you start?"

Mai sighed, laying back on the bed and thinking of a way to start conversation. Normally, she left most of the talking to Ty Lee. It worked best that way. This was new terrain. "What I mostly want to know is why you wanted to marry me. I thought I was here to have your heir, but you didn't seem to mind at all when I refused you on our wedding night. You haven't even attempted to kiss me, which I prefer, but I still find it _odd_."

"Hm, fair enough, I suppose," Zuko thought, sitting beside her on the bed. Their arrangement _was_ quite odd. "Honestly? Everyone else thought I should do it. With the change of power, people are nervous about what's happening with the throne. The advisors think having an heir to secure the line will calm people's fears. I figured marrying would at least keep the peace for a while—I don't know what will do of it in the future, but I can promise I'll never make you do anything with me that you don't want to."

She looked up and studied his face for a moment. She thought herself to be rather good at knowing whether or not someone was lying, and this felt honest. "That's respectable."

"So why did you agree to marry me? Up until now you've seemed to hate me. Maybe even still now."

She snorted; there was no denying his statement.

"My parents gave me a choice; marry you or be disowned. I seriously considered the latter, but you're not as bad as I anticipated."

A—compliment, perhaps? He could never tell with Mai.

"Hm, well, I'm glad we're friends now."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Due to the release of S &S part two, I decided to have this chapter inspired by it as you'll notice! Thank you for the continued support! I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

It was easier to being getting to know Zuko once his friends were gone, Mai noticed. Not so much noise to tire her out, not so much conversation to find herself lost in, not understanding what was being discussed as she simply wasn't a part of it. One-on-one interactions were much simpler to navigate. It was bothersome to notice her anxiety in being around such a group of people, even more so knowing that it was abnormal for her to care. Half her life had been spent charming political leaders for her parents which was never nerve-wracking, just boring. But there was something different in being around a group of people you were actually meant to befriend. In that way, she never knew how to behave, what parts of herself to show. Living behind a mask had taken away her ability to truly know herself. To know what others would like to see outside of a well-behaved child.

She sighed, stretching out in the empty bed, knowing Zuko had been gone for quite some time, in his office, which she had never actually seen. It must've been grand if it was here, in the palace, though. Every room was deep red with gold adornments and large tapestries. A show off of wealth if anything.

Only moments after rising from the bed, she sat back down in a huff. This place bored her, immensely so. What was there to do? She supposed she was meant to behave like a lady at times in which she wasn't alone. She kept to herself mostly, inside the palace walls. Perhaps Zuko could tell her what places were the best to go…

For the moment, though, she decided to explore her new… _home_ a little more. The guards paused her, sure she was lost when she turned down corridor after corridor, but she assured them she meant to be wandering in no direction. Most of it was empty rooms, some that looked as if they hadn't been touched since Sozin was Fire Lord.

But then she found a room she rather liked. It was large, but empty, clearly meant for training. Of course, that training, she assumed, was meant for firebending practice, but still there were targets that she could use for her own fun.

It did take some asking to get herself back to her own chambers, where she searched to the bottom of her things for a hidden box meant not to be seen by others. A wide grin crossed her face as she ran her hands across the plain wood. Now it was time for some fun.

Finding her way back took time, but after arriving in the training hall, Mai set the box down and opened the latch, finding her blades laid upon satin. She hummed softly to herself, taking care to clean each knife. And upon finishing, she flung a single blade right into her target—a perfect hit. A triumphant smile graced her features. Seemed like a few weeks of lost practice hadn't done too much damage.

Her body fell quickly into sync as she carried herself through the room, hitting targets and creating new challenges for herself. It was exhilarating to be doing what she loved once more.

She joined Zuko for lunch after finishing, her face still shining with sweat, but she couldn't be bothered to care with how happy she felt to—feel like herself again.

"Eh? Did you go running or something?" he asked, passing her a cup of water to cool off with before taking his seat across from her.

"Oh, um—yeah, I figured it would be a good use of my time. Keep myself looking presentable or something. Though I'm sure I'm the opposite of that right now."

He smiled, shaking his head at her antics. She was unlike any other person he had ever met. "I actually think you look quite nice, you seem…happier today."

It was fortunate for Mai that her cheeks were already red. There was something so strange about it all. How could this man she'd known for mere weeks care more about her happiness than her own parents did? She squirmed a moment in her chair, uncomfortable with the idea that Zuko cared for her; unsure how to process such information. But time and time again, he was showing her kindness and expecting nothing in return.

"It's better than the boring days I've had lately," she replied, measuring the flatness of her tone carefully. She didn't want to seem rude to him now, she wanted to find the right balance of safety and openness.

"We'll try to do something fun, alright? What do you like to do? I'm not too busy today, I could put off some work if you'd like."

Mai paused while their food was brought out, sticking a bite into her mouth to buy the time to think. It might be a bit selfish to pull him away from work just so that she could have a better afternoon than most, but he was offering. And he was the one who asked to be friends. "Maybe we could play a game, something that won't keep you _too_ long."

Zuko nodded, "Right, we can play Pai Sho maybe, my uncle taught me."

"Your uncle's that general, right? It's kind of weird, always having heard about your family from lessons or debates in my family. But to you, you actually know them."

"He's a lot different now than you probably learned. He's more of my father now than my uncle, really. Next time I travel to Ba Sing Se you should come along, he'd really love to meet you, I think. And he makes the best jasmine tea—you'd love it, I'm sure."

Their conversation carried on, discussing family members and a potential visit to the Earth Kingdom until Zuko brought her to play the promised game. He went carefully through the rules, teaching her to play (which only made it infuriating that she ended up winning).

"You—beginner's luck! It has to be that," he pouted, overdramatizing the look of his bottom lip sticking out and crossing his arms as if he was a child. His game played off, with Mai smiling.

"Or you're just a sore loser, Lord Zuko," she teased, setting the board game back up to play another round. Each time, she won, her wit overpowering his until he fell back with a defeated sigh. Mai rolled her eyes, but took a place next to him on the ground. "I played a lot of games by myself growing up, that's probably why I can beat you."

"Oh? Well, me too. I didn't really have any friends as a child," Zuko admitted, rolling onto his side so that he could face her. He liked these moments, where they could enjoy themselves without an awkward tension in the air.

Mai thought maybe, they'd be able to understand each other one day. There seemed to be a sort of connection growing, something she noticed after talking to Ty Lee a few times, but never with any of the other girls in her classes at school. Something about them made her feel comfortable in a way she found difficult to describe. There was a softness in them, an honesty too—a welcoming aspect of someone who you could trust.

"You have lots of friends now, though." She had almost mentioned them being friends, but something stopped her. She was simply so used to keeping herself at a distance from others, not letting them in. Because if you didn't let someone in, they couldn't hurt you. "—I think I'm going to go bathe now," she breathed out, quickly rising with the fear of the situation becoming too much for her. Her guard was slipping, and she had let it happen. He felt so trustworthy, but her feelings had failed her before. Head over heart was how Mai liked to carry on…and he was making her forget that.

 _Stupid._

But still, she turned back before leaving the room—"Thanks for playing with me, it was nice."

* * *

She chastised herself mentally while soaking in the hot water, wondering how she could let herself fall into thinking someone like Zuko would truly want to be her friend. Surely, there was an angle. That's how people in this world played the game; especially when they were in politics. Nothing was ever clear cut. Someone always wanted something from you: that's what life with her parents had taught her.

Mai pulled her knees to her chest, burying her face in them and letting out a groan. Could it be that this time there wasn't another motive? He was Fire Lord, after all. He could order her to do whatever he wanted, but he was giving her choices in her life. Despite being married to a man against her will, she had more freedom than ever before.

It was a battle of fear and hope; of the grim reality she had seen before and the idea that things could be better. There wasn't an easy way for her to know what was right and what was wrong—if ever there was a time to need your best friend…

There, that was it. She could certainly convince Ty Lee to take some time and visit; to get a read on Zuko and give Mai advice on what his intentions were. Besides, her heart ached with the pain of missing someone.

With her mind made up, Mai quickly went to composing a letter to Ty Lee.

 _Ty Lee,_

 _I'm sure you've been waiting for a letter anyways. I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to write. Things are alright here. I was writing to request your help._

 _Fire Lord Zuko has been very kind to me, but I can't imagine why that's so. His family has seemed such that thrives off power. I'm worried that he is trying to play a game and make me out to be a fool. Perhaps it's because I'm too cynical as you've claimed. Still, I would like to see what you think of him._

 _And I suppose I've missed you a bit as well._

 _He has given permission for you to come and visit the palace already. Please let me know if I should arrange a boat._

 _-Mai._

After letting the ink dry, Mai requested of a servant to send the letter on its way. Ty Lee wasn't too far, she figured. The hawk would arrive quickly; all there was left to do was wait.

* * *

It took less than a week for Ty Lee to arrive. Her presence was impossible to miss with the near shriek as she flung her arms around Mai, almost toppling them both to the ground, but Mai had already steadied herself, expecting such behavior. Zuko stood beside, a patient smile on his face turned wider by the amusement of seeing Mai have such a—different friend.

"Mai! Oh, I've missed you so much," the young girl started, "And this place is so fancy. I've never seen so much gold in one place before, I love it. Of course, it could be improved by some pink-…" she trailed off, loosening her grip on Mai and quieting down to offer a respectful bow at Zuko, who returned the favor. "It's nice to meet you, Fire Lord Zuko, I'm Ty Lee—did you know that Mai _really_ likes flowers? She wouldn't tell you that, I bet!"

" _Ty Lee_ ," Mai chastised, giving a stern glance at her friend who only grinned, knowing she had successfully embarrassed Mai.

Zuko laughed, "No, she, uh, didn't tell me that. I have to say, I didn't expect her best friend to be so…well, _pink_." Not expected at all. They seemed to be complete opposites already, and he had only just met Ty Lee. She was loud, expressive, colorful. Everything Mai wasn't. Curiosity brewed at what connected them.

Mai rolled her eyes in response, even if he had a fair point. "Eh, she's nauseating to look at sometimes, that's for sure." It felt nice to be back into the playful tease with her friend. She hadn't realized the extent of her loneliness until now. "Let's—get something to eat, we can catch up a bit and you two can get to know each other." That way her reason for asking Ty Lee to come could be fulfilled…and, at least this time she wouldn't have to feel left out.

They shared an enjoyable meal, with Ty Lee doing most of the talking as was the norm. She wasn't surprised to see her easily befriending the Fire Lord. Mai was certain Ty Lee could befriend anyone if she tried hard enough. Afterwards, Zuko left the two girls together, having to return to work for the rest of the afternoon. It only took a second for Mai to start the questioning.

"So what do you think of him? See, he's kind. A bit awkward most of the time, but do you think he's got some other motives? I just can't figure him out," she sighed, leading her friend towards where she would be staying for the duration of her visit.

"Oh, he's got a really good aura, Mai, trust me! I think he's got a big crush on you, he's kind of nervous. _It's so cute, he has a crush on his wife!"_

" _Shh_ , Ty Lee—he doesn't have a crush on me," she insisted. "We're just friends." Her cheeks flared red at the thought…he did seem nervous a lot, but—no. There was nothing between them but a forced marriage and an awkward friendship. "So is he lying or not?"

"I think he's being honest, you're just paranoid. You're auras still so _gray_ , you really need to start working on it, Mai, or you're going to break out."

"You know I don't believe in that," Mai huffed, crossing her arms. "I guess I'll try to trust him, but I'm still keeping an eye out."

"Right, right, of course," Ty Lee scoffed, deadpanning for a moment only to burst with excitement once more as Mai let her in to the guest room. "Oh, look at this bed, it's so big. We should have a sleepover!" she declared, hopping onto the mattress and bouncing at excitement while planning the night. "We can do makeovers and have girl-talk. It'll be so much fun, just like we used to do!"

Mai allowed herself to fall into the moment, curling up beside Ty Lee. "Yeah, just like we used to."


	4. Chapter 4

Zuko noticed the crash in Mai's mood with the departure of Ty Lee. She grew quieter again, sighed more, and wore a constant frown in the following days. He wasn't sure how to lift her spirits again, but he had enjoyed seeing her at least somewhat happy. Certainly, he could figure something out to cheer her up. He thought over the things she liked, but truth be told, he still didn't know her very well. Perhaps he could surprise her with something fun, a way to get out of the palace and take her mind off the fact her friend had left so soon.

He spent the entire day trying to come up with something his wife would enjoy. It had to be perfect in order to get her to smile, but Zuko was determined and that always tended to get him far. He decided, after a great deal of thought, to try treating Mai to a picnic. Perhaps she would enjoy it— she did have a rather large appetite. He requested of the chef the foods he noticed Mai always went in for seconds for, dumplings and sausages and plenty of desserts. After the meal was packed away and the palanquin readied, he found Mai, excited to show her what he had planned.

"Ready for dinner?" she asked, assuming that was the nature of him looking for her at such a time, meals were where they spent most of their time together. She raised a brow at his expression, but didn't add anything else.

"I thought we'd do something different tonight," he started, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the exit of the palace where servants and guards laid in wait to escort them to the destination Zuko had in mind.

She let out a small gasp of surprise, her feet carrying her forward in an attempt not to fall over. "Hey, hey, slow down, Fire Lord, what's got you so excited?"

He turned back, letting go of her arm with a sheepish look, "Oh, sorry I just-…you know, you can just call me Zuko. It's alright." There. A subject change. The perfect distraction. And with that, he started walking down the hall, letting Mai simply follow him instead.

He couldn't quite gauge her reaction upon seeing the palanquin. She seemed lost in thought, perhaps wary of the situation. But he carried on anyways, helping her up and waiting to see if she'd speak up. Being Mai, that didn't happen. Rather, she analyzed the situation, curious to see where they were headed.

When they stopped, Zuko helped Mai back out—she wanted to say she didn't need it, yet held her tongue for the sake of manners. Besides, there were more important things to do—like gather her surroundings. Mai wasn't one for nature, but even she couldn't deny the scene laid out before them was beautiful. High up above the city, with the harbor in view and the sun beginning to set. She stared in silence for a long moment before Zuko called her attention, having already laid out the food and the guards having moved away to give them privacy.

And—his mission was accomplished as the slightest grin showed up on her face. It struck him again that she was quite beautiful, in such an unexpected way. He had found plenty of girls pretty before, but something about Mai's look left him almost dumbfounded. She was stunning, without even trying to be.

"What are you staring at?" she finally snapped, bringing him back to the moment he hadn't even realized he was lost in.

"Uhm, sorry, nothing. So, I think these are your favorite foods. You never really have said, but I know you seem to like them a lot. So I hope that you do. And I brought desserts too because you always seem to enjoy those. I thought maybe you'd like to get out of the palace for a while and-…"

"Zuko, there's no need to speak without taking a breath." Mai sized him up for a moment; how could a man who made powerful speeches sound like such an idiot in person? Still, it was sort of charming. And he had done all of this for her, an almost foreign feeling. She caught herself smiling wider, her heart warmed by the sweet gesture.

"Ha!" Zuko exclaimed. "It worked. I got you to smile, a real one."

"You're seeing things!" she fought back, but the smile still was there, shining on her face. "You're completely crazy." He laughed as she bit into the food provided, glad he had planned this. And Mai felt…special. Maybe that was the word. That he had noticed what she liked, taken care to think of it, and planned out something just to try and get her to smile. Ty Lee must have been right; he wasn't a bad guy after all. And she found herself truly enjoying him.

They spent hours out in Caldera that night, letting Mai gather in the sights until both of them were yawning. Their bedtime routines were cut short, both all too ready to crawl into bed after a long night. Mai crawled underneath the sheets, finding herself a bit closer to Zuko than normally acceptable. He didn't seem to notice, just smiled and wished her a goodnight before extinguishing the lantern.

Just an inch closer.

"Thank you for tonight, Zuko. I had fun."

* * *

The next time Zuko planned something out for Mai happened a few months later, when the days turned cold and the leaves had long since been dead. He didn't know very many people born in winter, but Mai was one of them and he was excited to plan something nice for her birthday. Their friendship had grown, letting him know better now what she might like to do.

Mai was quite unsure what to expect; a party of some sorts? She certainly hoped not, but Zuko had stated several times that he was excited for her birthday to arrive. Much more excited than she was, it seemed.

When the day arrived, her parents had sent a short letter congratulating her on turning eighteen. She threw it away. Flowers came too, Mai didn't need to read the card to know her aunt had sent them. At these, she smiled, placing them in a vase on her vanity before sitting down to start her day. Zuko was already gone, giving her some peace and quiet that she feared she might need if he was going to have something large planned.

He stopped in a bit after she had woken, apologizing that he wouldn't be able to have lunch with her as he was very busy and trying to make enough time for tonight. Mai only groaned, certain he had something too large for her tastes planned—the servants seemed to be whispering more and more. Certainly something was going on.

But since she had no one to share lunch with, Mai invited one in. She was meant to be Mai's lady-in-waiting, but Mai typically preferred to handle most things herself. In fact, Mai didn't think she had requested her help in getting ready once.

"Yuki," she greeted, sitting down in front of the mirror at the servant took a place behind her. "You wouldn't happen to know what's happening tonight, would you?"

"Oh, I don't know a thing, Lady Mai," she assured, though her grin told otherwise. "Would you like my help with something?"

Mai sighed, shaking her head. "No, it's alright. You know, I don't really know you very well. Just your name actually. It's kind of odd."

"Is it?" the girl asked, pursing her lips. "I don't think most people tend to get to know their help…"

"I suppose that's true, but still, you're here a lot. Drawing my baths, washing my robes. You've seen me fully nude, but we've never spoken more than a few words."

"Are you feeling alright, Lady Mai? You're not acting like yourself."

She sighed again, laying her head on the surface of the vanity. Losing her time with Zuko had left her feeling—lonely. Aching to have a friend nearby. "I'm fine, I just thought we could try to talk. But you're free to go if you'd like."

Yuki smiled, taking a brush and running it through Mai's hair. Mai sat up quickly in surprise, almost stopping her. But she stopped, allowing it as the other spoke. "It must be lonely here, away from your family. Do you have a big one?"

"No, just a little brother. He's quite young, too young to write yet so I haven't spoken to him since I came."

"That must be hard."

"It's alright, I like it better here than at home, actually. Where's your home?"

Yuki began pinning Mai's hair up in parts, leaving most of it to fall down her back. Mai quite liked the style, simple, yet very pretty. "It's outside of Caldera, but still in Capital City, close to the shopping district. My husband runs a clinic on the bottom floor, we live on the top."

Mai wondered what the rest of the city was like; she had only seen the inner ring so far. Perhaps it would look more like her village. She thought back on days spent at her aunt's flower shop, with Tom-Tom picking out flower he liked best to show off and taking a bite into them, thinking they'd be just as tasty as they were colorful. It had been pretty funny, seeing him sit there with petals sticking out of his mouth. Maybe she'd be able to visit soon; he must be getting big in her absence. Maybe she could ask her mother for a portrait. "Sounds nice."

Having finished her hair, the servant smiled, offering a small bow to Mai. "It was very nice speaking with you, Lady Mai—is there anything else I can do?"

Mai shook her head, deciding to do her make up herself. She hated when people got so close to her face, and she simply wanted to line her eyes in black. "I'll be fine, thank you, Yuki. You should go home for the rest of the day, I can draw my own bath tonight."

The servant left with another thank you, leaving Mai to herself again. She smiled a bit, proud at her progress in making friends. Her mother would be disappointed it was with a servant, but she wasn't sure where else to meet anyone that might interest her. High-society women weren't always…pleasant to be around. And she feared many would treat her differently in attempts to grab the attention of the Fire Lord.

Shaking it off, Mai finished lunch on her own and headed for the library, pouring herself into books until Zuko eventually found her. She sighed heavily, fearing he was about to bring her to a ballroom full of people, but surprisingly, he didn't ask her to change into more formal robes.

"So, I wanted to make your birthday special…" he started, beckoning her to follow. "I would have had a picnic, but it's a bit cold outside for that," he admitted as he brought her into their typical dining room. The table was adorned with flowers, candles, and all of Mai's favorite foods, even things from her home village that she had mentioned not seeming to exist in Capital City. It was much better than she had feared; an evening tailored to her tastes.

Mai thanked Zuko, taking her seat and digging in to the feast. Everything tasted delicious, and their conversation was light and pleasant. After eating her second fruit tart, Mai sat back with a sigh. "I think I'm going to explode if I take another bite."

Zuko laughed, although he understood how she felt. Both had allowed themselves to fully indulge on the meal. It was a celebration, after all. How else was one meant to behave?

After allowing some time for their food to settle, Zuko took Mai's arm and started heading towards his next surprise of the night. He had her dawn a cloak for warmth before traveling out into the city's museum. He wasn't sure she would enjoy it, but thought she would at least like doing something different than normal.

He was happy to find Mai loved it. She was enamored with old artifacts on display and paused to read each plaque. The museum had already closed for other visitors, but Zuko had requested they be able to enter after sundown so that Mai could enjoy the place without crowds starting to form around them. It paid off well, with Mai having plenty of time to ask the director all her questions.

"You know, you should consider enrolling at the university, Lady Mai," he noted, smiling—it wasn't often someone showed such interest. "I can see you have a very bright mind. I teach there sometimes, I'm sure the board of admissions would let you in for just a few classes if you didn't want to fully enroll as well, given your position."

Mai let the discomfort with special treatment go; her eyes were wide with excitement at the notion of taking classes. She had always been good at school, and had a love of reading. Her parents hadn't seen any reason to further her education past the required years and some etiquette classes. It would give her something to do; a way to make friends. She loved the idea.

After they left, Mai turned to Zuko with a grin. "Maybe I will enroll at the university. I could take math classes, I was always very good at those. Where is the university here?" she questioned, peeking out of the curtain of the palanquin as if she would see it. Zuko laughed, but he loved seeing her this way. It was a rare sight, and he couldn't help but feel proud that he was contributing to her happiness.

So he asked the servants to stop by. Mai stepped out, taking in the many buildings scattered about. Zuko wasn't sure which ones held which classes; he had never actually been inside. Most of his education was done by instructors at home as a child. But Mai was at the perfect age to start considering a higher level of learning. He would happily support her decision to start taking classes, though he might have to discuss the idea of a guard attending with her, just in case.

After getting her fill on the view, Mai joined Zuko again. "I'll have to start studying to get in, but I'm sure I could do it," she thought aloud.

"Of course you can, I bet you'll be getting the best marks out of everyone, too."

Mai looked him over for a moment before smiling. "Thank you, tonight's been very nice. I think, perhaps, my best birthday ever."

"Really? Great—but there's one more surprise waiting for you when we get to the palace. I hope you'll like it." His cheeks flared red, his heart warm with the satisfaction of pleasing Mai.

They arrived back at the palace where Zuko whispered something to a servant before taking Mai back to their bedroom. "Alright, Mai—your present will be here in just a moment." His grin was nervous while he fiddled with his hands. Please, he prayed, don't let her be allergic.

Mai waited patiently for the servant to return, handing Zuko something just out of her sight.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Gentle!"

She was confused until he turned around, showing a small black ball of fur struggling to break free of his grip. A tiny kitten, mewing and scratching at Zuko until he let it go with a sigh. Mai squinted at the cat for a moment, wondering why Zuko thought to get her such a gift.

"I know you don't have many friends here…" he started, "so I thought this little guy—well, it's a girl, could be some company? She doesn't have a name yet. Do you like cats? You kind of act like one so I thought—" he stopped suddenly, realizing he was babbling and not even looking to see if Mai enjoyed her gift.

But she had already picked the creature up and was holding it close to her chest with the hint of a smile on her face. With Mai, that had to mean she liked it. "Yes, Zuko. I do like cats. Thank you," she replied, running her hand down the cat's back, although it was barely any bigger than her hand. Everything bewildered her about that day; he had paid attention to her interests and needs, giving her a day she would truly enjoy. Her parents had never seemed to understand what she wanted without explicit directions. They didn't know her. They didn't care. But he did. He noticed her favorite things, he noticed her loneliness. And without asking for anything back, he tried to help.

"I think I'll name it Yami."

Zuko thought for a moment. "—Darkness? You're really strange, Mai."

She laughed, holding Yami up to her face and brushing her cheek against its fur. "I know."

He wasn't sure what it was about that moment that made him realize his feelings for her had grown past friendly. He suddenly had a desire to kiss her, to touch her hair and run his fingers through it. He blushed, trying to push away the thoughts of how soft her lips would feel against his. His eyes fell on them, with their subtle curve as she doted on her new pet. He couldn't seem to remember the kiss at their wedding, but it didn't count. He wanted to _really_ kiss her, to hold her close while he did so. His eyes fell lower, onto the curve of her chest. He hadn't really paid much attention to her figure before…but he liked it. His mouth grew dry as he shook his head. It wasn't respectful to look at a woman that way. Luckily, she had been too distracted to notice.

He wondered if she could ever feel the same about him. Sure, she had seemed to like him as a friend now, opening up more and more to reveal a warmer side of herself. But while she was beautiful, he wore a scar on his face. She had never said anything of it, but he had heard enough people's talk to know she had think it was hideous. Mai would probably never want to kiss him; Zuko was sure of it.

But she was happy right now, so he would be happy for her.


	5. Chapter 5

Sometimes for Zuko sleep brought nightmares, memories of begging his father for mercy before the flame headed towards him. He shot up in a panic, gasping for breath and sweating heavily. Mai stirred beside him, but he couldn't work out an apology. He merely buried his face in his hands, trying to mask the tears welling up in his eyes.

There was no use; the haunting memories were too much. He began to sob, his body shaking with fear of the past. He had tried to move on, but nights like this…it was all too painful. It felt like he was still just a small child, terrified. Un _loved_.

So he was shocked to feel arms wrap around him, pulling him in closer. "—Mai?" His voice was thick with tears, barely above a whisper. He had expected her to pretend she was still asleep or something, not to comfort him without a question. But he needed it and melted into her touch, allowing her warmth to bring him back to reality. Time stretched on, maybe minutes, maybe hours, of him silently curled in her arms while she ran her hand down his back.

Eventually, he calmed enough to speak. "Thank you…I'm sorry I woke you."

Mai shrugged, moving away now that he seemed better. It had surprised even her that she had reacted in such a way, but she couldn't simply leave him crying there…she wanted to help him. And it seemed she had. "It's alright, everyone has nightmares sometimes." She paused for a long moment before adding, "If you want to talk about it, I can listen."

Zuko took in a breath, gripping the blanket tightly. "It was just about the day I got my scar, I have them from time to time."

Mai pursed her lips. She wasn't sure what to do or say next; he was clearly still upset. "…oh. Well, if you need me to stay close again, I…" Holding him had been nice, in a way.

He almost turned her down, but the thought of falling back asleep on his own seemed unlikely. Her touch had offered solace already, maybe it could again. "Alright," he nodded, scooting closer to her so that they touched.

"Just be careful, I think Yami's jealous now."

He laughs, although it's heavy. "Oh, alright. Thanks again, Mai."

"Just being a dutiful wife."

She drifted back to sleep with ease, but Zuko's mind is still reeling. Eventually, he gives up, carefully removing himself from Mai's side. No need to wake her twice in one night. He headed toward the bathroom, washing his face and looking into the mirror. He was no longer a banished prince, but the feelings lingered. He tried to reason that he had many people who cared for him now: Uncle, the Avatar, even Mai.

Yet, he still felt incredibly alone. It frustrated him; hadn't he been doing better, healing from the past and the hurts it carried? Why did it still have to weigh him down?

He jumped as Mai appeared behind him in the mirror—"Ah! Oh, Mai! What are you doing awake? I tried to be as quiet as I could…"

She shrugged, rubbing her tired eyes. "I got cold, then I realized it was since you had left. What's got you up again? Did you have another nightmare?"

Zuko shook his head and looked down at his feet. "I never fell back asleep."

She looked on in concern, knowing she needed to do something to help him feel better. "I'll be back," she told him, heading out and requesting a pot of tea. Perhaps it would help calm him down more. She waited patiently until it was brought in and set the tray on the bedside table before calling him out of the bathroom. She poured two cups, passing one over, and crawled back into the bed. "Ty Lee always gives me two choices when I'm upset; we can discuss what's bothering you, or we'll talk about something funny until it doesn't hurt anymore."

Zuko took the cup and stared down at it in silence for a long moment. Opening up to Mai could be nice…she might have been closed off, but she was showing how much she truly cared. There hadn't been any ridicule over his previous crying, so it had to be alright, didn't it? "Do you know how I got my scar, Mai?" he asked. Better to not tell the whole story if he didn't have to.

"I heard you were disrespectful at a meeting…and you lost an Agni Kai over it. So your father sent you away." She remembered the gossip spilling through her house in the following weeks, some questioning if it was too cruel, like her mother. Mai hadn't been surprised to hear her father defend Ozai, but it still disgusted her at the time.

"Yes, that's it…" His voice was tense. Mai almost regretted her decisions that led to this, but she knew it was important to be here for him. As awkward as she felt, it didn't compare to how much he was suffering. Her parents weren't overly loving, but she had never faced violence at their hands. She reached out, placing a hand on his knee as a reminder she was there for him. "I know better now than before that I don't need him or his love, but sometimes I still wish I had it."

What words would be right? She couldn't give him that paternal love; she couldn't take back his hurts. "I know it's not what you're looking for," she started. Her mind screamed at her to shut up then, to not keep talking because it could only bring something bad. But she pushed forward, stuffing her own fears down. "But I care about you."

His eyes were watering, but he still smiled at her. It felt good to admit that and to not be judged for it. Mai didn't seem to find him an idiot for wanting the love of someone so cruel, and she was never shy to tell him when she thought he was being stupid. And on top of that, she admitted to caring for him. It didn't fix anything, but he did feel lighter. "I care about you, too. I think I'll be able to sleep now," he assured her, finishing his tea and setting the empty cup aside. She crawled back into his side, pulling the covers over them.

"Like I said, dutiful wife."

* * *

In the morning, Zuko could tell he hadn't slept well the night before, but at least he had managed to fall asleep once more. He almost considered claiming he was sick and skipping the meetings planned for the morning, but there were colonies still in need of his rule so it wouldn't be the most honorable decision. But paperwork, he decided, would wait for another day.

As he prepared himself for the day with Mai still sleeping soundly, he noticed her cat staring at him from the bed. He leaned in to give a small pat atop her head, but the cat hissed. Zuko frowned. "I've done nothing to you, Yami. Don't be so rude." The cat didn't seem to care about manners, of course, and continued to sit as if protecting Mai's sleeping form. To test the theory, he reached a hand towards Mai that Yami promptly tried to bite into. "Hmph. I could always kick you of our room, you know," he told the kitten. In defiance, the cat curled up next to Mai and continued to watch him. "You're really the perfect pet for her."

He must've been really tired, he thought to himself, talking to cats like they were people. At least Mai was asleep and wouldn't make fun of him for it.

The meeting ran as smooth as possible, with minimal arguments, though it could have been due in part to the fact the Fire Lord appeared to be dozing off halfway through. Zuko quickly returned to his room afterwards, falling into the bed.

Mai looked up from the vanity, having gotten up and bathed in the time he was gone. "I figured you'd be tired," she commented, unfazed by her husband laying face first in the sheets and groaning out a reply. "I'll be in the library so that you can nap in peace."

He was already asleep by the end of her sentence. Mai snickered quietly as he began to snore, deciding to leave her hair down so that it could finish drying as she made her way into the library. She poured over scholarly books in the Fire Nation's history, determined to study hard enough so she could pass the entrance exams into university without the help of being the Fire Lord's wife. She was worried she had been out of school too long to be able to catch up in time for the next testing period, but Mai was determined.

Zuko found her eventually, looking better rested than before with his hair still down. He sat beside her, peaking at what she was reading.

"You don't think that's boring?"

"Oh, I do, but I still need to know it to get into the university," she sighed. "I haven't been in school since I was thirteen, so I'm trying to catch up." She closed the book, sitting back up to face him. "I think my brain is fried now, like a sea slug."

He snorted at her joke before his expression turned more serious. "I just wanted to say thank you again for last night."

She shrugged it off, uncomfortable with the attention. She didn't feel she had done much at all, but rather what one was supposed to do for their friends. She meant what she said, that she cared for him. Deeply. And there weren't many people Mai could say that about.

The air grew heavy with tension as their eyes met. Mai's mind got away from her, her cheeks turning red as she began to think over the relationship she had with Zuko. It was far different from hers with Ty Lee, and Mai found herself wishing for it to be more.

She raised a hand to his cheek, lightly touching the edges of the scar. Zuko closed his eyes and sighed, sure she was judging how he looked. And, in a way perhaps, she was, but rather she was noticing how attractive he really was. Her mind thought back to months ago when Ty Lee claimed Zuko had a crush on her. Did those feelings remain if they were even there to start?

Mai didn't want to overthink it. She didn't want her mind to start telling her the risks, so she shut it off for just a moment while her lips met his in a gentle kiss. Zuko's eyes flew open, stunned by what was occurring. Sensing his surprise, Mai pulled away, her cheeks red with shame. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking!"

 _Oh, that's right. She wasn't._

But Zuko quickly pulled her back in, kissing her harder this time so that she was the one left in shock. He had wanted this, but was sure it couldn't ever happen. Yet here he was, his mouth against Mai's. The dream was shattered when she abruptly pulled away and left him sitting there, confused and unsure what he had done wrong.

He gave her a few moments before seeking her out. She was pacing their bedroom, muttering to herself when he entered.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No. I did, it was stupid of me to kiss you," she answered in a huff, her mouth in a tight line of annoyance. How could she have let her guard slip like that?

"How flattering, Mai," he scoffed, crossing his arms. His feelings were hurt now, not understanding how one moment they could be sharing a tender moment and the next she was calling it a mistake. It hadn't felt like one to him. In fact, it had felt like they should've kissed a long time ago.

"Just shut up. You really think we like each other? No, we're just finally falling for the stupid game they set up for us! My parents, your little band of advisers. They almost won, but I'm not going to let them," she hissed out, her voice colder than he had ever heard it before. He wasn't following along with what she meant, not at all, but he was furious with her for messing with his emotions.

"So you just pretend to care about me, is that it? I should've realized it was fake. You don't care about anyone but yourself."

"Fuck you, Zuko! You're just too dumb to see it!"

"To see what!?"

"They tricked us into it, don't you get that? Do you really like you would like me had you not be told to marry me? That's ridiculous."

"You think I kissed you because of that? You're—you're crazy."

She turned away, her arms crossed in defiance. She didn't want to believe that she had fallen for him on her own accord, not knowing it was what everyone wants of her. She had wanted a choice in it all, but this was no choice. It was easier to pretend her feelings had been made up of something else than admit they were real.

He stormed after she shut him out, going to practice his bending in an attempt to burn off some steam. Mai was being ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous to claim what he felt was constructed by someone else. He tried to think it over, looking for any evidence her words might hold truth to them, but there was none. By this point, he knew her well. He knew she was harsh and bitter at times, and he could accept that. A silly, made up love would only want something perfect. Would only see perfect. But now, he knew Mai was wrong. And he still wanted to be with her, even if he didn't want to be around her at the present moment. Why was that so hard for her to understand?

He avoided her for the rest of the evening, returning to the room late into the night. He heard her voice before entering—

"Look, I know he's nice, but that doesn't mean I like him. He's handsome too, alright? But—still. I don't know how to be sure any of this is real. What if I'm just giving my parents exactly what they want?"

He pushed forward, curious to see who she was conversing with, only to find Mai sitting with her cat. Not another person was in the room.

She jumped up, clearing her throat. "I wasn't-…I was just thinking aloud."

It was a bit hard for him to stay mad at her when she looked so flustered. "It's okay, I'm sure Yami's a good listener," he murmured, heading to wash his face and change into night clothes. Mai remained silent until he reached the bed.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she admitted, keeping her hands busy with petting the cat so she wouldn't be caught fidgeting. "I shouldn't have kissed you while still unsure about my feelings. It was unfair."

Zuko sighed heavily, weighing her apology. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear, but he appreciated the gesture regardless. It wasn't her fault she was questioning their relationship. "It's alright. I'm sorry I yelled."

"I do care about you, as a friend at least. I need time to decide if I care about you in a different way than that." Distance was best. She was putting forth her best efforts, here. Trying to be honest and communicate. She could only hope it would pay off.

Zuko nodded, reaching over to give her kitten a pet. The tension was broken with Yami's swatting him away, letting them both laugh at the young cat's actions.

"Why does she hate me!?" Zuko complained, dramatically throwing himself back onto the mattress. "Here I am, having brought her to live in the lap of luxury and she resents me!"

Mai laughed more at his silly mood, glad they were at least back to friendship. "Oh, it's because you're trying too hard. She can smell your desperation."

"I'm doomed."

* * *

 **Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

When the news hit, Mai didn't feel anything. She laid the letter down and stared straight forward, as if she never read it. Because perhaps, if she didn't read it, it wouldn't be true. Her Aunt would still be alive, puttering around the flower shop and reminding Mai to smile now and again. She wouldn't be called back to her village for a funeral.

The news started to sink in. Mai imagined her mother must have been taking it hard, and Tom-Tom…how would they explain it to him? He had escaped the deaths of anyone he knew during the war, but he was still a small child. It wasn't fair for him to have to deal with such matters. And Mura. She was gone.

Mai hung her head, watching as small droplets landed on the parchment, blurring the ink. Perfect. It would wash away the words that had caused so much pain. She was caught up in herself, her grief, enough that she didn't notice when Zuko entered the room behind her. He noticed her tears and was struck silent at the sight of them.

Mai was crying? He instantly knew something must have been awfully wrong. "Mai?"

She jumped up, wiping her eyes and forcing herself to look composed. She would not show weakness in front of him. It had been stupid enough to let herself mourn without ensuring she wouldn't be interrupted. "I'm fine, allergies. It's nothing," she lied. It was a pathetic one, but she hoped it would be enough to get Zuko to leave her alone.

But of course it wasn't. He was kind enough to not comment on catching her crying, at least.

"What's going on?" he questioned, concern lacing his tone. He stepped closer, placing a hand on her shoulder which she shrugged off. He should've expected it—she had been pulling away from touch lately, figuring herself out. Still, he wished she'd let him try to offer her solace.

Without a word, Mai handed over the letter her mother had sent requesting she come home for the funeral service.

Zuko thought for a moment, trying to process what had happened. He had only met her parents, but Mai had mentioned a few times her aunt. She seemed quite fond of her, and losing anyone was tough. He decided he would do all he could to support her in this time, even if it required insisting.

"I'm very sorry, Mai. I'll handle arranging the trip to your village, we can leave in the morning."

"We?"

"You shouldn't have to travel alone right after losing someone you love."

She opened her mouth to protest, but closed it again quickly. It would be too difficult to spend the boat ride there by herself, just thinking. Thinking about going to that shop and not seeing her aunt there was almost too much to imagine. She would need a friend by her side. So she nodded, placing the pain deep inside her and deciding to address it at another time.

As promised, the boat was ready in the morning. Mai was silent as she climbed aboard, fearing that if she spoke she might begin to cry once more. Zuko respected her quiet demeanor, sticking close and telling her stories that didn't require her to reply.

She slept much of the journey, but barely touched her food. There was no appetite; it worried Zuko, but he understood the pain she was suffering. Time, he reminded himself. She needed time to be alright again.

He was relieved to see her smile as a small boy crashed into her knees upon their arrival, tightly clinging to her until she picked him up and held him close to her chest. Mai had missed him terribly, and he was so much bigger than she last remembered. At least he still seemed to be alright. He snuggled into her neck, arms wrapped around her.

"I missed you so much, Mai!"

"I missed you, too, I guess," she sighed out, grinning slightly. At least he was here. He would make this all bearable. She set him down after a while, almost reluctant, but she could see the tears brimming in her mother's eyes and knew Michi needed her. They weren't close, no, but Mai loved her mother regardless. Losing a sister was hard. Mai would hate to lose Tom-Tom.

She hugged her mother as well, a bit of an awkward action. But Michi sunk into it, holding her daughter close. "Thank you for coming, Mai. It's been too long."

Their embrace ended once Mai felt her mother had gained some amount of strength back from it. She turned, motioning for Zuko to come forward. Her mother quickly bowed, trying to smile for him as she welcome him inside. "Oh, Fire Lord Zuko, I didn't realize you would be joining Mai, I hope you'll find our home welcoming."

"I'm sure it will be more than fine. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Mura had a good heart…" Michi trailed off, her expression darkening before the tears returned. Mai passed over a handkerchief and led her to the couch to sit while Tom-Tom stared quizzically at Zuko.

"Your Mai's boyfriend?" he asked. Zuko smiled, her brother hadn't been at the wedding with his parents, so this was their first meeting. He was cute, with black hair like Mai's.

"No, we're married," he clarified. It was a bit awkward to say; they didn't feel or act married, but that was between them more than anyone else.

"Mommy keeps crying because Auntie Mura isn't coming back. Do you know where she went?"

Zuko swallowed hard, unsure how to answer the question. Was he supposed to tell a child about death? He tried to remember what his mother had told him when Lu Ten passed, but still, then, he had been older than Mai's brother. He kneeled down, expression solemn. "Her spirit left this world, I'm very sorry."

The boy ran this over in his mind, frowning heavily but still not quite grasping the concept. "I want her to come back, though."

Zuko gave him a small pat on the head, looking down. "I know."

Mai returned after her mother quieted, her brow raised in question at the interaction unfolding between Zuko and her brother. He looked up at her, his gray eyes sad. So unlike the normal mischievous expression he wore. "Auntie is really gone?" he asked Mai.

"Yes, she is." She scooped him up again, allowing him to cry into her chest. Zuko's heart tinged with guilt, feeling horrible for having broken it to him and making him cry, but Mai turned to face him instead. "Thank you. We were struggling with how to tell him; you did a good job, I believe. It's only fair we be honest with him."

Zuko nodded, feeling a little bit better, but still hating that he made the child cry. There was some more relief when he stopped, having fallen asleep on Mai's chest. He followed her up as she laid him in his bed, tucking him into the covers. It was nice to see her nurturing side, even if the circumstances were grim.

Despite all her sleep, Mai looked exhausted when she turned back around. She rubbed her temples. Dinner was soon, but there was still time to rest before then.

"I need to lay down, I think. You're free to any of the house, there's servants here too, not very many. Normally my mother would love to entertain you, but…" She didn't need to explain. "You can relax in my old room as well."

She led him down the hall, pushing the door open that had been closed for a year now. Inside were three rooms, all belonging to her. A bathroom, the bedroom, and a small area for lounging in during the day.

No, she noticed. Not a year. Tom-Tom's stuffed bear laid upon her couch. She smiled a bit at that, weakly. Of course he would want to play in her room. He always had begged to be allowed in, until Mai relented.

She left Zuko to his own devices, laying in her bed. More evidence not a year had passed since anyone entered it. The sheets were fresh. But, then again, the servants had known she was returning. The funeral was tomorrow.

She closed her eyes.

Tomorrow her aunt would be paid her last respects. She shut it out. Now was not the time to mourn. Her family needed her.

* * *

The funeral passed in a blur of white for Mai. White robes, milling about, offering condolences, speaking of how they loved Mura, wishing her soul be at peace. She was exhausted when it was over, the smell of smoke haunting her as she crawled back into bed, her pure white robes thrown to the floor without a care.

She laid within the sheets in her underwear, trying to focus on only the feeling of the fabric on her skin. But the _smoke_.

The _smell_. Her aunt, left to ashes that would be kept in an urn. Her aunt, kept upon a mantle.

Zuko didn't bother enter the room; he heard her cries from outside and knew she needed space.

She came out after hours had passed, freshly bathed and in a robe, pretending as if nothing happened while Zuko milled about her collection of books.

"I'll have to put off studying for a while, I can try to apply next year," she mentioned, reminded suddenly of her wishes to enter back into school. "My mother will need me for the rest of the month to mourn." And she didn't have the energy to pour herself into it anymore.

Zuko nodded, trying to gauge her mood, but her expression was flat and untelling. "I'll stay till the end of the week; I wish I could stay longer, but…"

"I understand, you've done more than enough."

The two fell into silence until Mai moved in closer, letting her mask fall for just a moment. "It's helped me to have you here, I appreciate the support."

She leaned into him, silent until her mother called them down for dinner. It wasn't much, but it helped.

Her father seemed rather unaffected by the events, so while Mai and her mother picked at their food without a word, Ukano attempted to lay on the charm, vying for Zuko's attention and political favor. Her stomach turned as her father praised Zuko's efforts as Fire Lord. It was all lies, but she held her tongue. She wasn't to speak unless spoken to when her father was at the table, and with company to impress, his fury at her disrespect would've only escalated.

Soon enough, it was time to retire to bed. It seemed to not matter how much she slept the past few days. Either way, exhaustion weighed on her heavy. Coiled up against Zuko's chest, sleep came quickly.

They parted with a hug when it came time for Zuko to leave. Part of her wanted to scream at him not to go; not to leave her alone with her parents, in this house, with these memories, but instead she wished him safe travels and turned back into the house.

"He's a nice boy," her mother commented when she was back inside, sitting with a half-finished blanket and knitting needles, not making a move to actually progress.

"Yes, I could have fared worse."

Michi set the blanket aside, moving to stand with her daughter. She bit into her bottom lip, trying to piece together what she wanted to say, but finding it hard. The death of her sister reminded her that telling those you love how much you loved them was important. The chance could be lost in a moment's notice.

"I…I'm very proud of the young woman you've become."

"Because I married the Fire Lord?"

She flinched. Such a comment was expected from Mai. The family had fought for weeks upon Mai's betrothal.

"No, because you're _smart_ , beautiful…you've been kind to me, kind to Tom-Tom. I thought you wouldn't come home. That you hated us now."

Mai tilted her head, eyeing her mother in confusion. It must've been the grief speaking.

"Father's the one who made me get married…" She tested the waters, careful around her mother's words, trying to understand what she was getting at. Her mother had never been proud of her before. Pleased, maybe, that she behaved well. But never proud.

Michi frowned, her shoulders drooping at the uncertainty in Mai's tone. For once, she wished, it would be simple to talk to Mai. To understand what her daughter wanted and needed. To be able to read her. "I'm not a very good mother, am I?" she asked, her voice hollow.

"I ended up alright in the end, didn't I?" Not an answer, but not a lie. There was a fight within her, of love for her mother and a desire for her to be happy, mixed with years of resentment and hurt feelings created in the past. Her mind was fuzzy still, turned with the mourning of her aunt. She suddenly wanted to lie down. "I think I'm just going to nap now."

Michi nodded with a sigh. "Sleep well."

* * *

 **A/N: Mai's time at her parents will continue in the next chapter. Sorry Mura :c**

 **Let me know what you think, I'll try to keep updating often!**


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